Why I am the Problem Too — Breaking out of the Echo Chamber of My Own Creation

I am well aware of the irony of publishing this post to social media given what I have to say. However, I hope that my musings can provide an alternative opinion on the importance of empathy and communication, even with those whose views may on their face appear abhorrent.

Over the course of the last week and a bit, I have struggled to put words to my feeling.

I am angry

A policeman placing a knee on the back of a black man resulting in his death.

People begging for justice, family members yearning for solace and business owners picking up the scraps of what was left of their storefronts.

Hordes of people committing wanton violence in streets that I have lived in.

Police acting with incredulity and hate and politicians fanning this hate.

I am hopeful

I witness this moment as one of great opportunity. Despite the terrible destruction and vitriol, I believe we stand at a point in time where change is eminently possible.[1] Over the course of the last four months, we have observed how the structures of our society can be flipped on their head.

I read the tweets and social media posts and watch the videos. I witness the impassioned protests from a wide variety of members of our community. I see friends and colleagues posting about donations to various charitable causes. I see pleas for support and anguish on the part of those with privilege who are looking to be the catalyst for change. It is evident to me that there is a potential critical mass demanding systematic upheaval to the structures that have resulted in the racial inequality of our society.

I read the conversations occurring about mechanisms and policies that may lead to the difficult, painful but ultimately necessary process of dismantling the systematic racial and social inequities present not just in the United States but all over the world.

I am frustrated

Despite this all, I am frustrated. As I read the messages on my social media feed, when I look at the news articles I am presented with and I think of the conversations that I am having I realize that I am not really aware of the opinions of people who are different to me. Not in a way that could be described as empathetic.

I am frustrated that the perspectives I have access to are biased and do not adequately reflect the views of those who may have a difference of opinion.

I am frustrated that my ability to voice my own thoughts is muffled by an echo chamber of my own creation.

I have carefully curated my surroundings to bring me greatest comfort. Those whose voices I can hear and those who can hear my voice are likely those who most agree with what I have to say.

As Indra Nooyi (former CEO of PepsiCo) stated, “I ask that we not lose sight of the power of our voices.”

However, I am frustrated that through my actions I have diminished the power of my voice and how it can be used to drive the types of systemic change I hope to see. Through an inertia created out of my own desire for comfort and ease, I have minimized the opportunity I have to learn and try and help catalyze change.

Most fundamentally, I realize that I am in fact frustrated with myself.

At this moment in time, I fear that there will be further polarization of our community when what we desperately need are deep and challenging conversations. However, for change to happen it requires communication between people who do not otherwise necessarily agree with each other. Productive communication simply cannot occur within both physical and virtual echo-chambers that many of us, myself especially, find ourselves in.

It is for these reason that I have come to the realization the I am the problem too.

My physical and virtual surroundings are a function of the people, places and conversations that I have been a part of. It is clear to me now that I have prioritized expediency, ease and agreement as opposed to challenging conversations that may create friction and foster negative emotions but ultimately give rise to diversity of thought.

Thanks to a life of making such decisions, I have cheated myself out of the opportunity to learn from people who may have alternative opinions to my own. Furthermore, I have limited the power of my voice to potentially influence people who may have different opinions. Even in publishing these words, it is clear to me that only a subset of people may have access to them.

While I do believe a level of culpability should be placed on content platforms, as I have discussed in another post, to place all the blame on profit-maximizing algorithms of private organizations is to fail to take ownership of my own biases and their consequences.

In the end, my lack of empathy for opposing arguments is my fault and I must accept blame for the consequences.

What will I strive to do?

Given my realization of these facts, I am seeking to change some of my behaviors to try and ameliorate the issues I have discussed and to bring more power to my voice. I do not see any of the actions below as quick fixes but rather fundamental and challenging modifications that I need to make to how I interact with alternative viewpoints.

Specifically, I aim to do the following:

· Be a better empathetic listener — challenging conversation only start with a willingness to truly listen and empathize with the reasoning of alternative opinions.

· Engage people in more honest substantive conversations — I aim to not take the easy path in conversation but rather spend time in the uncomfortable uncertainties and differences of opinion. Looking back at the opportunities when I have had the chance to engage with those who may not agree with me, it is evident that I have a bias towards agreement, ease or deflection as opposed to getting into the weeds of challenging, substantive topics of conversation.

· Question before stating — to facilitate better empathetic listening during these more honest conversations, I must practice the art of asking meaningful questions and muting my natural reaction to share my own thoughts.

· Proactively interact in arenas where people may have different opinions — finally, the above three tactics are all good and well, however I think most importantly I must place myself in positions that will be more conducive to creating opportunities for the types of interactions I seek. Specifically, I aim to engage with a wider variety of media sources that may lean in political directions that I do not otherwise align with naturally. Additionally, I will reach out to those who I know who have opinions on topics that do not necessarily align with mine and I hope that this will help lead to further interactions with people outside of my existing network.

My sincere hope is that through such actions, I will be able to build a network with more diversity of opinion. I hope that this diversity will lead to my own opinions being challenged and updated. Furthermore, my hope is that this will also provide me with a stronger voice for those things that I remain passionate about.

Our voices are indeed very powerful, as has become starkly evidence over the past week, however these voices will only lead to substantive, sustainable, systematic change if it can be used to engage with others who hold different opinions. Until then, I will remain to be the problem too, stuck in an echo chamber of my own creation.

It is my responsibility, as a person with significant privilege, to break out of this echo chamber.

[1] See Ta-Nehesi Coates’ thoughts and optimism as discussed on Ezra Klein’s podcast available at: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vdGhlZXpyYWtsZWluc2hvdw/episode/M2Y2ZTM5ZjYtMTU0OS0xMWVhLTk0MmYtYzNiZWJjNjNiZTA4?hl=en&ep=6